Blow me.

I don't think I can ever, EVER say how much I have grown to hate the so called "Holiday Season." Just typing those two words makes me throw up in my mouth a little.  Wait, hate is such a little word. Loathe doesn't quite cut it either, but I do hope you get the point.

A lot of people, bloggers and soapboxers say this every year, and every year we do survive, however I am going to give you my reasons for wanting the Christmas Holiday to be forcibly removed from society and every persons memories.  To clarify, if you are a religious person and this is a spiritual time for you, that is different; I am only speaking to the consumers that only use this holiday to show off their families like trophies and get all the crap they cannot afford and don't need.  And if you are a consumer out to buy more than your combined yearly salary on useless crap that you will throw out in a month or two but continue to pay for until 2016 then line up to the left for lobotomies.

Okay and now to my reasons.

Remember Halloween?


I mean do you really remember Halloween?  When for the ENTIRE month of October that was all kids could talk about, where ghosts and skeletons would creep into daily life, one day at a time, bring our anticipation to being out after dark and MORE candy than we've seen all year previous?  Do you truly remember the feeling of fall celebration, knowing that the days were getting shorter and there was getting all dressed up to look like a fool, just to get free candy?  Or like some parents I know, free drinks?  Well I do, I remember when Halloween was the MONTH of October, and then November 1 cornucopias and turkeys and Pilgrims were seen for as far as the eye could see.  Family togetherness WAS celebrated and all the TV commercials and store decorations and town and city decorations reminded us to be thankful for your families and our country.  Tell me honestly if you remember the fall decorations that showed off our heritage and reminded us that Turkey day was coming and was, well KINDA IMPORTANT.

I do.

Now, do you know what I see?  F*CKING CHRISTMAS decorations OCTOBER 15!!!! YES I SAID TRUE! What happened to fall?  WHAT HAPPENED TO MY EXCESSIVE AMOUNTS OF CANDIES AND FOOL ACTING?  AND AND AND AND I WANT MY TURKEY DAY BACK!!!!! I don't want to think about 'black Friday' or holiday shopping or what ever the stupid rejects are coming up with now to get us to spend more money than we have just so we don't feel guilty about coming emptied handed to see family, because you know just seeing your family during a time of year that it is, well, important, isn't officially important anymore.   I guess.  Or at least not with out spending excessive amounts of money first.

EVERY YEAR.  EVERY. YEAR. Christmas has been creeping up the calendar...  I am not kidding.  Mall Santa started in both malls I currently work at on NOVEMBER 8th!!! NOVEMBER 8TH.  One more time.  NOVEMBER 8th!!! The mall didn't even put up fall decorations, or MENTION TURKEY DAY at ALL.  AT. ALL.   Now yes, I am 'yelling' again, but I want to make sure that I am clear.  I saw Christmas trees (which are part of the pagan religions, you know Yule?  It's not even Christian) for sale in Wal*Mart at the beginning of OCTOBER.  Maybe it was even the end of September, I don't shop too much anymore. 

Now I guess what I am getting at boils down to this question: What is wrong with us?  I am asking everyone reading this, Google and Facebook people: WHAT IS WRONG WITH US?  Why is this one holiday, more important than the rest?  Why is it all about selling, and sales and buying crap?  Why is it about out shining every one else on the amount of money and crap you spend/accumulate just for ONE DAY.  Not even Chanukah, the holiday that isn't really advertised (unlike Christmas) they give gifts for EIGHT NIGHTS. Why aren't the marketing assmonkeys going after a holiday like that?  I mean really? Wouldn't eight nights of gifts be more financially lucrative than ONE? It's kinda basic math here people?! (And please no Jewish jokes here.)

Now I am ranting, with a bit of personal research to back me up.  I work retail. I talk to consumers and they like talking, a lot. Let me tell you! And the Jewish customers I have always shop smart and make fun of the Christmas shoppers, and the Christmas shoppers are oblivious because they can't see anything other than the shiny, shiny items in their hands that they are paying for with plastic.

You can do this same research even if you don't work retail.  Just go shopping and watch people.  Pretend you are going to buy stuff at stores and actually pay attention to the consumer masses around you.  You will see people walk in, look around as if lost, pick up the item closest to them, give it a cursory glance and buy it.  Not read the back, not ask any one about it. Not even check the price.  I have seen this happen on so many occasions.  Then if you frequent this store, you will see said buyer come back in about a week and return the item, un-opened, and start the process ALL OVER AGAIN. If you don't believe me check it out. 

This is why I HATE/LOATHE/DESPISE/DETEST/ABHOR/ABOMINATE/EXECRATE Christmas and all the 'holilday season' is.  It has proven that we, as Americans, as a mass majority are MINDLESS.  We do what the pretty flashy lighted box tells us to do.  We buy and buy and buy and buy until we can't even move underneath our material crap.  Well, I was about to say we're mindless, but I already said that.  Why are we like this?  What the hell are we doing to ourselves?  To our Nation?  To our future?

Wait, did I just answer my own question?  Is it because we are mindless that the spirit of the holidays has be lost to the dollar and martial gain?

Happy Thanksgiving to all whom remember what Thanksgiving really is.  And I hope it's okay I didn't do pictures throughout the entire post.  I tried to search for 'Christmas Holiday Pictures' and I suddenly felt very ill.

OHHH YEAH. One more thing:

Don't even get me started about Christmas Music.  If I hear Jingle Bell Rock one more damned time, I will jam safety scissors in my ears.  OH yeah, and I'm talking this season, you know before Thanksgiving. Also, you are very welcome for having that song now playing in your head :) . Welcome to my hell.